KEEP BEACH CITY WEIRD IS BACK! I’ve been off the grid for the summer. Not because government was on my tail, but because I… dropped my phone in the toilet.
And then I was googling “how to remove a phone from a toilet in a way that isn’t gross” and I… dropped my laptop in the toilet.
It doesn’t matter. Everything is fixed now, and I got six more really great blogposts coming up! I think. I haven’t totally figured out my posting schedule yet.
Wait, you were serious. I… I guess I could—maneuver myself over—just bend a bit, there—this isn’t going to work.
Sometimes I think about how many little things we probably do every day that would totally mess up the reasoning of a Sherlock-Holmes-style detective.
Like the other day we went to the cinema and I was wearing a shirt with no pockets so I put the ticket in my…
“Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.
My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?
Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?
The bears made that tombstone.
A warning, and a prayer.
That he really, truely stays down.
This is too badass not to reblog.
Reblog for last comment
unseenphil . Right?
This puts it in perspective doesn’t it?
I will not hold it in
holy shit this somehow perfectly summarizes what my life is gonna be like in a few weeks lmao.
“There are things that you can’t do - like writing letters to a part of yourself. To your feet or hair. Or heart.”
Sorry about those shoes. They look good, but…well…you know. With the rubby bit right by the base of the ankle. Ouch. Very sorry about that. I tried my best with the blister pads, but…well…really should have packed a second pair. I should have known better. We walked a lot in those shoes. I owe you, Feet. Consider this my sincerest apology, and an IOU for a really cool pair of socks. Maybe with Laurel Burch cats on them. You know how the brain likes Laurel Burch. (I know, I know. It’d be better if they were heavier. I’ll try and talk the brain into some Smartwool or something.)
Anyway, keep up the good work. We all rely on you up here, above the ankles, and we don’t say it nearly often enough. You’re valued members of the team.
Everything That Isn’t Feet
A buddy needed an tiny enthusiastic axolotl today.